SPANISH MOVIE

Madre de Dios! It seems that the Meet the Spartans Epic Disaster Date Movie style of comedy is spreading across the globe like swine flu. Below you'll find the trailer for Spanish Movie, an upcoming parody picture that spoofs Pan's Labyrinth, The Orphanage and other Spanish-language hits.



Yes, that really was Leslie Nielsen you glimpsed in there. That guy has had an absolutely bizarre career. For decades he was a leading man, then he gradually transitioned into character parts as wise uncles and corrupt senators, then he reinvented himself as a leading man comic actor in a few dozen parody movies... And now this.

Courtesy of Slashfilm, a rough translation of the trailer is below. The site says that the film is probably going to see release in the US, but if so I have to imagine it would only play in a few art houses... And I can't imagine that audience flocking to see it. The ideal audience for this movie would appear to be fans of arty Spanish cinema who want to see their favorite genre sent up with gags that wouldn't pass muster for Mad Magazine.

VO: In a world of darkness, there are voices that cry out to be heard…
(child whispering) It’s here… It has come…
- Who are you?!
- Egermina, at your service (quite old village-ish name and manners)

VO: If you spent half your life in The Orphanage and now you spend your “Mondays in the Sun”…
(pun with Bardem’s movie “Los Lunes al Sol”)
- What’s up with you?

VO: If you are “Sea Inside”…
- Again with your foolishness? Forget about him, he’s always faking.

VO: …and you are unable to “To Return”…
(pun with Almodóvar’s “Volver”)
-To return (singing)
-Don’t think this is vice, it’s because I’m ill.

VO: If you blame it on “The Others”…
-I’m photosensitive!
-Come on! You’re just drawn! Go out to play and catch some fresh air! (in a quite villageish way of talking)

VO: When you get lost in “Pan’s Labyrinth”…
-Something like you is what happens when a shepherd likes his goats a lot?
-What’s this!?
-A talking goat. Can we keep it?
-Oh… All right. But try it not to shit on the carpets, they’re too expensive.

VO: If you think this is “No Country for Old Men”, then “Open Your Eyes”…
(Pun with Amenabar’s 2nd movie “Abre los Ojos”").

VO …turn your back “to the sad” reality.
(”to the sad”=”a la triste” pun with Mortessen’s “Alatriste” (which means Sad Wing btw).
- Quiet! I come form a war, not from playing bingo.
- Come on babe! He’s turned so old. (No, I don’t get it either).

VO: Push “REC” in your brain…
- Record it all! (girl whispering)
-Don’t worry! I know what I’m doing!

VO: “Spanish Movie” has arrived!
- Everything is so supernatural… huh? Are you playing with your flashlight again?


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