STRANGE TOONS: BOY MEETS DOG

For the first few minutes this old promo cartoon for Bristol-Meyers toothpaste plays out about like you'd expect, with a classroom full of kids singing about dental hygiene. But things start to get a little more interesting as we follow one of the boys home, where he tries to keep his new puppy a secret from his father. Dad finds out and he just goes nuts, throwing a shoe at the poor pup and sending the kid to bed without supper. And it is at this point where we find ourselves taking a detour into Nightmareland...

Little elves come out of a forest mural on the boy's bedroom wall, and haul the father inside with them. They put him on trial, in a long, musical sequence that seems to be largely composed of old-time radio catchphrases that nobody remembers anymore. (I actually listen to old-time radio, and even I don't recognize half this stuff.) They finally declare that the guy's such a grouch because he neglects his dental care, and they sentence him to be placed in the "youth machine," a horrifying contraption that punches him, squishes him, shaves him, and reshapes his flesh like play-doh until he is reborn as a helpless, wailing infant.

The moral: don't neglect your oral hygiene, or elves will come out of the walls and turn you into a baby. Hey, don't say they didn't warn you!



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