George Lucas sprays Jar-Jar stink all over STAR TOURS
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Folks, I want you to know that I take no joy in bringing you this clip. It will hurt you to watch it, but it also hurts me to inflict it upon you. But it's time we face the sorry truth: George Lucas hates us.
The same man who brought us so much when we were kids has turned on us, for some reason. He hates us, and he wants to see us weep. Our sorrow nourishes him somehow, he grows corpulent on our tears.
He absolutely will not rest until every aspect of the Star Wars we grew up loving is crapped up with that crappy stuff from the crappy prequels. He can't stand the thought that somewhere out there, there is still Star Wars that makes us happy, Star Wars that is yet untainted by the stink of Jar-Jar. So, he dug up the original trilogy and crudely stitched on a bunch of garbage from the prequels... But that wasn't enough. Oh, no. Never enough.
Now he's taking away the Star Tours Disneyland ride we grew up loving, and he's prequelizing it all. Pod-races and everything. He know that nobody was asking for this. But he's doing it anyway. Why? Hate. Hate for you. Hate for all that you ever were, and all that you ever will be. Crazy, cross-eyed, old man hate, with a bajillion dollars to back it up. I know, you want to cry. But you musn't! For don't you see? That's just what he wants. If you weep, that means George Lucas is winning!
So, steel yourself for the worst. (No, worse than that, even.) Here, in a clip apparently presented by Karl Rove, is 1:20 seconds of George Lucas betraying and murdering your childhood.
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The same man who brought us so much when we were kids has turned on us, for some reason. He hates us, and he wants to see us weep. Our sorrow nourishes him somehow, he grows corpulent on our tears.
He absolutely will not rest until every aspect of the Star Wars we grew up loving is crapped up with that crappy stuff from the crappy prequels. He can't stand the thought that somewhere out there, there is still Star Wars that makes us happy, Star Wars that is yet untainted by the stink of Jar-Jar. So, he dug up the original trilogy and crudely stitched on a bunch of garbage from the prequels... But that wasn't enough. Oh, no. Never enough.
Now he's taking away the Star Tours Disneyland ride we grew up loving, and he's prequelizing it all. Pod-races and everything. He know that nobody was asking for this. But he's doing it anyway. Why? Hate. Hate for you. Hate for all that you ever were, and all that you ever will be. Crazy, cross-eyed, old man hate, with a bajillion dollars to back it up. I know, you want to cry. But you musn't! For don't you see? That's just what he wants. If you weep, that means George Lucas is winning!
So, steel yourself for the worst. (No, worse than that, even.) Here, in a clip apparently presented by Karl Rove, is 1:20 seconds of George Lucas betraying and murdering your childhood.
Got a tip for Monsters and Rockets? Want to contribute to the site? Send us an email.
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