JESUS CHRIST VAMPIRE HUNTER

The trailer below seems like a quickie parody commercial from a modern sketch comedy. Perhaps a bit too edgy for today's Saturday Night Live, but it would fit in fine on Human Giant or The Whitest Kids You Know.



But Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter is not just a minute-long sketch. It was a full-length feature film, released in 2001. The film resurrects the Son of God and teams him up with a masked Mexican wrestler as they go up against vampires who are attacking Canada's lesbian population. Then it's basically 85 minutes of the Prince of Peace kicking vampire ass.

As an agnostic libertine I have no objection whatsoever to Christ defending gay girls from the undead. I think that's a perfectly worthwhile way for Jesus to spend his time. But I do object to Jesus getting a haircut and a shave. Christ has been rocking the hippie look for 2000 years, after all! A balding, clean-shaven Jesus is like a Buddha with six-pack abs.

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