TIPTOES: The bizarre romantic comedy starring McConaughey, Beckinsale and dozens of little people

The 2003 romantic comedy Tiptoes stars A-listers Matthew McConaughey and Kate Beckinsale, with Gary Oldman as McConaughey's brother. So, how come you don't remember hearing anything about it? Because it was never released. And why was it never released? Well, just watch the trailer.



No, there is not a gas leak in your house, and you did not just pass out on your keyboard and hallucinate that trailer. This movie actually happened.

Somebody actually pitched a romantic comedy about a young couple that's about to get married, when the bride-to-be learns that her handsome fiance comes from a family of dwarfs. Somebody actually bought that script, greenlighted the picture and spent millions of dollars on it. McConaughey and Beckinsale, two celebrities at the peak of their fame, actually agreed to star. Acclaimed character actor Gary Oldman actually signed on to play McConaughey's dwarf brother, even though Oldman is an Englishman, looks nothing like McConaughey, and - Oh, yeah, isn't a dwarf. At one point in the film, Beckinsale's hair actually looks like this:



At another point, Beckinsale actually says the NSFW and incredibly peculiar thing she says in this clip:



And yes, Oldman and McConaughey's dad is actually the Man from Another Place from Twin Peaks.

Little people would have good reason to complain about Oldman's casting, but by various accounts the movie was quite respectful toward little people, to the point of being a tad preachy about it. Tiptoes looks kind of awful, but it also looks like it could be sweet and kind of fun in a Shallow Hal way. It certainly looks more interesting than any 2003 romantic comedy starring Matthew McConaughey and Kate Beckinsale has any right to be. Maybe the studio should have released Tiptoes... And shelved Failure to Launch.

(Via Open Salon.)


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