NAOMI WILDMAN GONE WILD!

My fellow fans of Star Trek: Voyager, we have endured a lot of suffering.

We have seen our beloved show unfairly vilified and spat upon by the press, other Trekkies, and even members of the show's cast. People said that Seven of Nine was just a bimbo added to the show for ratings, but we knew she was really a complex and compelling character (who just happened to look spectacular in a silver catsuit.) Everybody was always hating on Neelix, but we adored the cheery alien warthog with a tragic past. That episode where Tom Paris' tongue fell out and he evolved into an evil salamander monster rocked, no matter what the haters said!

Everybody in the world said we were stupid for liking Voyager, but that just made our fandom stronger. We would never give up our love for Voyager... Just like Janeway and her crew fought overwhelming odd and never gave up trying to find Earth.

Well, Voyager fans, I'm afraid I've got some more bad news for you, a development so upsetting that it could cause a level-1 breach in your warp core.

I'm sure by now you've noticed the crazy-hot goth model in the picture there, doing her Lizzie Borden thing. You're probably wondering what she's doing there, in the middle of all this stuff about Voyager.

That is Naomi Wildman. Yes, it's true. The sweet little girl with the spines on her head, the one that Neelix would tuck into bed at night with tales of Treevis and Flotter... She's all grow'ed up, and she's become a Suicide Girl.

After Voyager ended, Scarlett Pomers went on to enjoy a successful acting career, including a co-starring role on the sitcom Reba. She's also done cartoon voice-overs and apparently she has her own rock band. In addition to these pursuits, she's also now doing some rather exotic modeling.

Here's what she has to say on her Model Mayhem page:

I prefer edgy, ethereal, dark, fantasy, creepy, fetish, pinup, fashion and frightening/bizarre shoots. However, I am very versatile and am always open to glamour, beauty, and more mainstream looks. I do NOT do nudes.

All of which would be perfectly fine - kind of fantastic, even - if I could just stop picturing her as an innocent 9-year-old with poky rubber things on her forehead. This is like seeing your niece in lingerie or something. And... Oh God, is that a Klingon knife she's using in that picture? I think it is. No! Not right! Very not right!

Sigh... Go ahead, Naomi, twist your Klingon blade in my heart. Today is a good day to die.


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