THQ TRENCH RUN game for the iPhone

My girlfriend is one of those iPhone zombies. She's constantly fiddling with that infernal device and prattling on about all the wondrous things it can do. In my experience, the iPhone basically does three things:

1) It takes ten minutes to load up a website unless you are sitting directly on top of a wifi hotspot. Like, you have one under your chair.

2) It has a crappy onscreen keyboard that you can't use unless you have tiny fingers like a raccoon. Believe me, you don't know what frustration is until you've accidentally hit the same three freaking keys together, for like the fifth time in a row. (That's right, short people, laugh at the big fellow as he struggles with your tiny plastic toy phone. But never forget that you only continue to live at the whim of the tall folk. Anger us sufficiently, and we will eat you.)

3) It smudges if you so much as look at it across a crowded room.

At least, in the iPhone's defense, it really excels at being slow, too small and smudgy.

So, I'm no iFan, but even I might be persuaded to play with one if was loaded up with this thing. It's the Death Star trench. As a portable game!



Good lord, if a portable Death Star trench game had been around when I was a kid, I don't think I ever would've gone to school again. I would've just wandered around town all day, playing with this thing and taking naps in doorways as needed.


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