Today's depressing YELLOW SUBMARINE remake news

No matter how hard I wish for Robert Zemeckis' planned Yellow Submarine motion-capture remake to just go away, news about the project just keeps trickling out (like the bitter tears from my eyes).

I think that pretty much everybody in the world who isn't actually Robert Zemeckis himself agrees that a motion-capture remake of Yellow Submarine is a freaking terrible idea. I mean, we are all in agreement on this, right? (Can I get a show of hands?) Right. So, why are we indulging him in this foolishness? I loved Back to the Future as much as anybody, but it's time to admit to ourselves that Zemeckis has somehow taken leave of his senses and can't be trusted with the keys to the DeLorean anymore.

Next weekend there's going to be a Beatles convention in Stamford, Connecticut, and according to Slashfilm Zemeckis' people will be holding auditions there for actors to play the Fab Four. This is being widely dismissed as a PR stunt, as Zemeckis has already talked about McCartney and Starr possibly playing themselves. But from the audition info that's gone out, we can gather that the remake will feature a host of new locations (including a bar, a press conference and Buckingham Palace) and at least one song (Help) that wasn't in the original.

Maybe this will surprise you, but I'm all for adding new stuff to this remake. Replace the old songs! Replace the old locations! Heck, replace the Yellow Submarine itself and replace the Beatles, make this into a movie about the freaking Bee Gees riding around in a blue balloon or something! Just keep on replacing stuff, Bob, until there's nothing left of the classic original and you're making some whole new thing that can suck without tainting my memories of one of my all-time favorite films.

Ugh. I need something sweet and wonderful to wipe the image of mo-cap mop-tops from my mind! Lego Yellow Submarine fan film, take me away!



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