Zemeckis planning new ways to ruin YELLOW SUBMARINE, ROGER RABBIT

Oh, Robert Zemeckis. Back in the 1980s, it seemed you could do no wrong. You brought us not just Who Framed Roger Rabbit but also the Back to the Future movies. If you had retired in 1990, you would have done more than enough for the world.

But then you went loopy for motion capture, and pretty much everything you've touched since Polar Express has been sad and/or wrong. I keep hoping you'll come to your senses about this Yellow Submarine mo-cap remake idea, but you keep talking it up to anybody who will listen, and I fear that you'll actually follow through and get this movie made. Now you're even talking about trying to get Ringo Starr and Sir Paul McCartney on board to play themselves. (And since those guys seem to have reached a stage where they'll do just about anything to stay relevant, there's an alarming possibility that they'll actually do this thing.)

While we're still woozy trying to imagine just how badly this Yellow Submarine remake is going to suck, you slap us upside the head with the news that in your Roger Rabbit sequel the cartoons will still be animated by hand but the live actors will probably be mo-cap. In other words, 20 years from now the original film will still look great while your sequel will look like dated videogame footage with cartoon characters pasted on top of it.

Could you do us a favor and just combine the projects into one big mess where the Beatles visit Toontown? That way we'll get all the pain out of the way in a hurry, and we can begin the healing process sooner.

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