Potato bugs are not evil

"Potato bugs are drawn to the smell of alcohol, so when you drink late at night they’re more likely to infest your bed. They may gnaw your cheeks while you sleep, trying to get at the smell of the alcohol on your breath."

This and many other so-called "facts" can be found at Potatobugs.com, a site that purports to examine the insect that Native American tribes once knew as "Old Bald-Headed Man." Potatobugs.com makes no secret of their anti-potato bug agenda, writing, "This site is dedicated to the fabrication and perpetuation of fear, hate and disgust for the Potato Bug. Please, won't you join us?"

Sadly, anti-potato bug prejudice has become all too common online. Google "potato bug," and you will find countless forums full of people sharing their traumatic potato bug encounters. Well, potato bugs have taken enough abuse, and it's time that somebody stood up for them!

Everything you know about potato bugs is wrong. It's all lies spread by the potato bug haters. Potato bugs are not true bugs, and they're not particularly fond of potatoes. (Actually they'll eat whatever they can find, including roots and smaller bugs.) They are technically known as Jerusalem crickets, although they aren't crickets. They are large-ish, flightless creatures with fat, baby-like heads and stumpy, shiny little legs. They're nocturnal - leading Potatobugs.com to describe them as "evil bugs of the night." Contrary to legend, they do not have a terrifying, piercing cry, like a small child abandoned by its mother. Their "song" is actually the sound of their little bellies being drummed against the ground. They're deaf, so they communicate through vibration.

They are not venomous. When panicked, they can stink, and they can bite. But the stink won't kill you, and neither will the bite. Hey, if you frightened a potato bug so much that it bit you, perhaps you need to ask yourself who was really at fault - the big, clumsy human, or the poor, deaf little insect who looks like an escapee from a Cronenberg movie?

Just look at this cute little guy:





















OK, so, they are kind of horrifying. But you have to admit, they're horrifying in a cute way. And they won't eat your cheeks while you sleep. Probably.


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