NEWSCHUNKS for 05.22.09

STILL MORE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE TRAILERS: Oh, God... The Harry Potter trailers won't stop coming. Jeez, here comes another one. Please, I can't take any more! No one movie can possibly have enough footage for all these trailers! They're going to start sneaking in clips from Potter Puppet Pals, just to pad these out.

TERMINATOR SALVATION NOT A HIT WITH CRITICS: The critics are not blown away by Terminator Salvation, suggesting that the film is uninspired action movie stuff. Claudia Puig writes in USA Today: "The predictable story feels as if it were written by a computer program labeled 'sequel.'" The Philadelphia Daily News' Gary Thompson declares: "When machines finally take over the world, they'll probably make movies that look like Terminator Salvation." Kyle Smith writes in the New York Post: "What makes this movie is the digital effects. It's got all the heart of a demolition derby." "(The film) isn't really action," writes Mick Lasalle in the San Francisco Chronicle. "It's commotion. It can't be action if nothing happens, and nothing can happen because the commotion doesn't advance the story. The commotion, the explosions, the fireballs function here only to delay action. ... Terminator Salvation looks busy, but it's static. The thing doesn't budge. It's an epic waste of time."

FIVE NEW DRAG ME TO HELL CLIPS: Bloody Disgusting has posted five new clips from the upcoming Sam Raimi horror picture. So far, this movie is looking like some old school Raimi nastiness.

EISNER WASTING TIME WITH BAZOOKA JOE MOVIE: I'd heard a few years ago that Michael Eisner was determined to make a Bazooka Joe movie. I hadn't heard anything since, and assumed he'd come to his senses. But, no. According to the Hollywood Reporter, he's now hired Mark Hammer to write it. Hammer is kid who has never had a produced screenplay, and who will be graduating from OC's Chapman University this weekend. Bazooka Joe, in case you've never heard of him, is a boy with an eyepatch who stars in the little comics inserts in Bazooka bubble gum. In 2007, after being forced out as head of Disney, Eisner purchased Topps (Bazooka Joe's owners) for $380 million. I bet the Disney shareholders are really rueing the day they let him get away.


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